Ripple Effects

A slightly different tone for a post from me today — but here goes —

New Years Eve – A time that we tend to do a little reflecting of what sits in our rear view mirror, and pondering of what lies beyond the horizon.  Hmmm….

Gotta tell ya — there’s a whole lot of “mixed bag” kind of stuff in that reflection piece for me.  But the key word there is “mixed”….

There are a good number of sorrow and heart-breaking days in that rear view mirror.

Losing both Yellow Dog and Black Dog in the same year was very tough.  We actually said our goodbye’s to Yellow Dog one year ago tonight, with her sissy following her 10months later.  So, we will be starting 2020 with no fur-babies in the house for the first time in – I can’t tell you how many years.

Oh…there’s more heartache than that — with much of it hitting very close to my very core, but you get the picture.  Heartache, tears, that “sick-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach” kind of stuff.  It’s all back there, just waiting to rise up and choke me sometimes.

There’s also a good measure of frustration in that backward glance — with the job (I know…who doesn’t have that!!?!?), projects at the house and so on.  But – since “work” involves people with individual personalities with troubles of their own, each dealing with their own unique issues/happiness/sadness/lives – that’s just all part of the package.

And trust me – Worry is in there too.  Full force!  But – as a Mom, Gramma and Wife – that is just part and parcel for the gig.  If my kids are going through something, I worry.  If my grandkiddos are going through something, I worry.  If hubby is dealing with “stuff”, I worry.  But it’s been a jam-packed year this time around, I think.  Or….maybe not.  Maybe it just looks like it cuz it’s so close behind me right now.  But it sure feels like we’ve managed to cram about 5 years of “crud” into one short time frame.  Time will tell….

But — there are also celebrations back there. 

A milestone anniversary with Hubby and a trip of a lifetime spending some amazing days seeing new things.  Kind of makes me think of all the wonderful and amazing things we have left to “see” in the coming years.

We’re also celebrating having both kiddos and all the grandkiddos close together again.  Not that we’re “those” parents/grandparents popping in at their homes every day at any hour — but it’s kinda nice to know we could if we wanted to!  😉

And I love that the kiddos know how much that proximity means to me — there was a great deal of conspiracy afoot around Thanksgiving to surprise us with a family pic that I honestly thought “just happened”.  Sneaky kids…..

All in all – 2019 kind wore me out.  Major “highs” and extreme “lows” tend to do that do an old body, you know?

So…what does 2020 look like?

Well…as I mentioned, both kiddos are close at hand, so we get to start the year out with that.  Close for visits, for support, or just knowing they are there.  All 4 granddaughters are growing faster than I can believe, and they are turning into amazingly beautiful and unique young ladies right before our eyes.  That’s definitely something to look forward to!

And while our fur-babies are not with us for the New Year – they are painfree and together, wrestling and having a grand old time.  (Yes…I am one of those people that truly believes that, so just deal with it!)

“Worry” will still be a part of the year — just can’t avoid that when you love your kiddos and grandkiddos as much as I do.  Their pain is your pain – their joy is your joy – their anger is your anger – their celebrations are your celebrations.  Part of the job.  So, I guess that makes it “status-quo”.

So, all that rambling to say – 2020…Bring it On!  I have my “circle” around me – and we can be mighty when we need to be!  I see good things — no, correction — GREAT things ahead in 2020!  They may not be the “things” I (or others) wish for specifically right now, but I have faith that things will play out the way they need to.  (I know…kinda sappy)

For my Friends — May 2020 bring you much peace and comfort in all you do.

For my Family – I love you more than you can imagine, and look forward to the New Year.  A fresh start in some aspects, a continuation in others – but I am so very grateful that you all are here.  Not just for me – but for each other.  My wish for you this year is to simply know how much you are loved.  By your kiddos.  By your brothers/sisters.  By your parents (all of them!).  I believe that love brings strength – so help each other be strong.  (I know you do anyway…but that’s your Momma!)

Here’s to 2019 – a year of “Experience”.

Here’s to 2020 – a year of “Expectations”.